1- Acknowledge that your parenting styles are different. Recognizing that your differing styles of parenting are causing trouble between you is an important first step in finding good solutions.
2- Agree to disagree. Parenting partners do not have to agree all the time. It is simply a myth that parents have to be in agreement in their approaches and present an united front to the children. When the two of you accept that you do have different approaches, you will find yourselves suddenly more together and cooperating.
3- Remember, harmony isn't everyone signing in the same note. Harmony is a combination of a higher and a lower note. This contrast provides the pleasing sounds. The harmony in a family comes from incorporating individual styles and preferences. Harmony is created by contributing your own special skill.
4- Balance each other. In Bill and Peggy's household, Bill is easygoing and Peggy is strict. They balance each other. They talk about their differences openly and they don't try to change each other. Their kids can easily understand that their parents are different, and thus have different parenting styles. This gives them a larger flair for life. You don't have to agree with your partner, but don't spend your time arguing about which is the best approach. It is your arguing that the children will use and exploit.
5- Support each other. In the past, whenever Emily came running to her mother complaining that her father was scolding her again (usually because her room was a mess), her mother allowed herself to be manipulated and would then run to the father and scold him. Now she simply holds Emily and says, "Your father does like you to keep your room clean, doesn't he?"
6- Follow Mom's Way and follow Dad's way. Sometimes families do things the way Dad wants it done and sometimes they follow Mom's way. Tell your children, "Sometimes we do it Dad's way and sometimes we do it Mom's way." This gives children experience with all kinds of ways of doing things. In life, children need a wide range of skills, and doing things differently is one way to practice. There is nothing wrong when a mother and father have different approaches, because children need to learn how to cope a variety of styles. By managing the differences they learn about relating and gain skills for managing a variety of people.
7- Talk openly. Talking openly in the family about differences that exist between mother and father can be a fun game. You'll be surprised by what the children have noticed about both of you.You and your partner can learn a lot from your children--provided you give them a chance and they feel safe. Try this: ask you kids who is the strictest and listen to their observations.
6- Follow Mom's Way and follow Dad's way. Sometimes families do things the way Dad wants it done and sometimes they follow Mom's way. Tell your children, "Sometimes we do it Dad's way and sometimes we do it Mom's way." This gives children experience with all kinds of ways of doing things. In life, children need a wide range of skills, and doing things differently is one way to practice. There is nothing wrong when a mother and father have different approaches, because children need to learn how to cope a variety of styles. By managing the differences they learn about relating and gain skills for managing a variety of people.
7- Talk openly. Talking openly in the family about differences that exist between mother and father can be a fun game. You'll be surprised by what the children have noticed about both of you.You and your partner can learn a lot from your children--provided you give them a chance and they feel safe. Try this: ask you kids who is the strictest and listen to their observations.
